On pixie and a thing called bravery

Either do it or you can’t. It takes a huge amount of courage to finally chase a dream.

Getting a pixie cut has been a longtime fantasy. Especially for me who have curly hair ever since I was a kid. Long, wavy, black curls that I usually tie in a bun when it’s hot but most of the time, just because it’s unmanageable. I grew up liking it anyway. But soon, I get curious of getting a rebond and cutting it really, really short.

Apart from the wild child that is innate in me, articles about living up your dream and time for change were huge help on wrapping up my decision.

The night before I decided to chopped my locks, I have this strange feeling that is building up in my stomach. The one that you usually feel when there’s a graded recitation in class or that moment when you are about to have a presentation and those critics are all eyes on you. I suddenly felt the urge to stop and changed my plans.

Maybe some other time.
Maybe after a week?
Or next year?
Or maybe not.

Confusion is expanding and my mind is in jumble. A long list of what ifs, ands or buts starts to pile up. But at the end of the day, I know that I have to do it.

Handful of hair falls to the floor one by one. Until, I barely feel it in my shoulders nor my nape.

Then I saw my face in the mirror.

The image that is staring back at me is no longer the person I knew, in physical aspect.

She’s different.
She. has. changed.

My hair is my trademark. My security blanket. When I cut it, I felt naked. I felt all the things I want to hide suddenly became out in the open. I felt vulnerable and all the comfort zone I once have suddenly melts away.

But, at the same time, I never felt so free. I felt triumph over the invisible beast that keeps banging on my head.  And there’s this massive amount of confidence that suddenly bursted. I felt like I can do almost anything now.

In life, sometimes you have to lose something important so you can get a grasp of something better.

When I have learned to let go of the thing that is dear to me, I was able to catch a certain level of liberty that I never knew existed.

So take a chance. Chase it. Do it. Take risks. Whatever it is that you have dreamed of. Experience is the key to grow. So collect memories, someday, you’ll look back on all those things and you’ll be thanking yourself for doing it.

At some point in our lives, we need change. And for me, getting a pixie was one of those. It still amazes me until now on how I was able to do it.

But I’m just so glad I did.

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